Lost Page 14

“Mom! None of these are right! Can’t we go to the mall?” Jessie wailed.

  “Nope. Not going to the mall on a Saturday.”

  “Can I ask Amy to take me?”

  “Fine!” I just wanted to get out of there.

  I left after telling her to get dressed and to put the suits back on the hanger—nicely!

  “Did Cinderella find anything?” Maggie asked. She had been sitting patiently looking at a magazine.

  “Ugh! I’m exhausted,” I joked. “Your sister is a beast.”

  Maggie shook her head. “I know. All this over her dumb suit.”

  I smiled and ruffled her short bob.

  “Mom, give me your phone,” Jessie requested as she came out of the dressing room.

  “Excuse me? That isn’t how you talk to me. Go put the suits back on the rack, and then try again.”

  Little snot!

  She did what I said, and then came back with a sheepish look on her face. “Sorry, Mom. Can I please use your phone?”

  “Why?”

  “I just want to call Amy and see if she can take me.”

  “Okay,” I sighed, fished my phone out of my purse, and handed it to her. “You be polite. Got it?”

  “Mom? Really?” Jessie felt the need to remind me that I was obviously stupid, and with that she took the phone from me and walked a bit away from us.

  Maggie and I started to walk toward the electronic and book section when Jessie came squealing up behind us.

  “Amy said she’d love to take me shopping for a new suit! She said she’d come pick me up in about an hour.”

  “Umm... Mom said we’re gonna go have lunch after this,” Maggie reminded her.

  “Ugh. Mom. Please, can’t we just go home? Amy said she’d take me to Veggie’s for dinner!” Jessie begged.

  The idea of spending the afternoon with Amy was exciting for Jessie. Amy and Jess were two peas in a pod and could wander the mall for hours—digging through the racks, trying on shoes, and playing with makeup. The idea did not appeal to me in the least, but I figured I could then spend some one-on-one time with Maggie. She and Jimmy were so low-key, they sometimes got overshadowed by their more high maintenance siblings. It would be good for my Magpie.

  “Magpie, why don’t we finish up here, and then run home? After Amy picks up Jessie, you and I can do something. Cool?”

  Maggie didn’t even take time think about it, which warmed my heart. “Cool, Mom.”

  I let Maggie and Jessie pick out something to read on the ship. Maggie got a Ramona Quimby book—I used to read those books, and I loved that the girls had found them. Jessie asked if she could get a few magazines. I said that was fine, and GL and Teen Vogue were dumped into my cart.

  “Teen Vogue?” I raised my eyebrow at Jessie. “Isn’t that a little... much?”

  “Mom, Amy said fashion has no age limit and good taste is timeless.”

  “O. M. G.” Maggie rolled her eyes. “That sounds silly.”

  I just had to laugh. I don’t know how many times I’d heard Amy say those exact words—usually in a vain attempt to get me into something way too revealing.

  “So can I get it?” Jessie asked.

  She looked so earnest that I picked up the magazine. Flipping through it, I saw it to be essentially harmless and told her that was fine. I grabbed a few magazines for myself—Vogue was not among them.—and threw them in the cart.

  “Okay, girls. Let’s grab some sunscreen and shampoo, and we can head out.”

  The girls trailed after me, as I pushed the cart toward the beauty supplies.

  “Hey, Mommy. That lady keeps watching us.” Jessie hurried to my side. Maggie was right behind her.

  I stopped and looked quickly around. “What lady?”

  The girls looked around sheepishly.

  “Her. Over there.” Maggie pointed subtly.

  I followed Maggie’s finger. However, by the time I focused on the intended target, the woman must have sensed that the girls said something to me, because she was walking away quickly in the opposite direction. All I saw was long brown hair and a red shirt.

  “Girls, I’m sure it was nothing. Maybe she thought she knew Mommy or something. Come on. Let’s go pay.”

  But the message on my van played in my mind. Should I be worried?

  * * *

  “You’re sure Jessie said she was watching you?” Amy asked me.

  Jessie was upstairs changing, and Amy and I were in the kitchen.

  “I’m positive.” I sat down at the table next to my friend. “Jessie came over to me and said that she was watching us. They both made a point to tell me that.”

  Amy looked concerned. “And you didn’t see her? Didn’t recognize anything about her?”

  “The only thing I saw was her back as she hightailed it out of Target.” I looked around to make sure the girls weren’t behind me. “Honestly, I’m starting to wonder...” I trailed off and suddenly felt ashamed.

  Brian had been faithful to me, never gave me any reason to distrust him for almost 20 years, and suddenly, there I was wondering if something had happened that I had been blind to.

  “Don’t you think for one second that Brian had an affair,” Amy said quietly, but with vehemence. “That man loved you with every fiber of his being. You know that, Julie. I’m sure this is some misunderstanding, or maybe the girls were just imagining it.”

  I nodded, aware that could very well be true. We had been active in the community—Brian more so than me. Through his company, Brian sponsored Little League teams and football teams. Brian and I, as well as some of the guys from his company, would run 5K races that gave to local charities. So maybe the woman just recognized me and didn’t know what to say.

  “You’re right. God, I feel like shit now!” I looked down at my lap.

  I heard Amy get up, and I felt her arms come around me.

  “Don’t you dare.” She knelt in front of me and took my hands. “Honestly, Bee and I would think the same thing if we were in your shoes. First your van and now this? But let it go. Go have a nice afternoon with Mags. I got Jessie.”

  Chapter 19

  He knew someone was watching her.

  It was the first time he’d been able to venture out during the day. His head still hurt, and he still wasn’t as strong as he should be. But he was starting to regain some of his strength.

  At night, when he slept, he dreamt. Two little girls laughing were always there. They looked like her.

  Other times, he would see her—under him—naked and holding her arms out to him.

  Why couldn’t he remember?

  Chapter 20

  “Okay, Magpie. What are we doing?” I turned to Maggie as she buckled up her seat belt.

  Amy and Jessie had already left, and we were settling into the Charger. I backed out of the garage and down the driveway, but didn’t pull out onto the street.

  “Can we go to the bookstore and look around?” Maggie asked me hopefully. The bookstore was not a favorite of Jessie’s.

  “Sure. Want to just go to Miller’s Crossing? It’s a beautiful day. We can walk around, hang out at the bookstore, have some lunch.”

  “Can we get some ice cream too?”

  “Sounds great! Let’s do it.”

  I pulled out of the driveway, and we were off. It was a beautiful day—not too hot, which was odd for Virginia in July. In just a few days, we would be on the ship getting away from all of this. I couldn’t wait.

  Maggie was listening to the music happily and singing along, and before I knew it, we were looking for a place to park.

  “I guess everyone had the same idea we did, kiddo.”

  “There are a lot of people here,” Maggie agreed with me.

  But there was plenty of parking, and since I had the Charger, I parked as far out as I could. We pulled into a space, and I put the top up. I grabbed my purse and let Maggie out of the back. We locked up the car, and she took my hand. Jessie was too cool for that, but when we were alone, Maggi
e often held my hand. She simply liked the closeness it provided, and I certainly wasn’t going to complain. I had parked near Barnes & Noble, so I figured that would be our first stop. I opened the store’s door and felt the blast of A/C hit me.

  “Hey, Mags. Let me grab a few magazines, and then we can head back to the kids’ area, okay?” I figured I could thumb through them as Maggie looked for something she was interested in.

  “Sure.” She happily followed me through the store, and the woman from the morning was forgotten.

  * * *

  My afternoon with Maggie was wonderful! I adore all my kids, but Maggie is most like me - my little tomboy cutie. I stocked up on magazines, and Maggie found a book from her summer reading list that she wanted. We paid for our things, and then decided to have some lunch. We were hungry, so we kept it simple and just ate at the food court—a chicken Caesar salad for me and nuggets for Maggie, and of course we had to split some cheese fries! I figured I could get in an extra mile later, so we hit the ice cream stand and shared a banana split. Yum!

  After we had our fill, we just wandered around. I did end up buying Maggie a new dress. The cruise ships always do formal nights, and the boys and Jessie enjoy dressing up—surprisingly—well, not surprising in Jessie’s case. Our little fashionista would use any excuse to don a fancy dress and get her hair fixed, and because of that, Jessie already had a dress. However, on our last cruise Maggie opted to hang out at the kids’ club instead. This time she agreed to go to formal night, so we picked out a pretty dress for her. I was surprised that she agreed to it. It looked more like something Jessie would wear. It had a combination of frills and sparkle, but it was a dark purple, so Maggie deemed it “not that girly” and gamely tried it on. She looked so cute, and she seemed excited, which was all I could ask for at this point.

  We decided to call it quits, and I suggested stopping by Tony’s to grab some pizza for dinner.

  “Alright, Mags. Let’s do it!” I pulled into Tony’s and parked next to my van. Carey seemed to be enjoying his job, and Tommy was great about giving him a week off for the cruise.

  Maggie hopped out, and we headed into Tony’s.

  “Hi, Mom!” Carey called as we entered. The place was packed, but no one was in line at the register at the moment.

  “Hi. How’s it going?” I asked him as we sidled up to the counter.

  “Pretty good. I should be home for dinner tonight,” he told me. “Hey, Magpie. What’s hanging?”

  “Hey. Not much. Mommy bought me a purple dress,” she answered.

  “Really? You’re going to wear a dress?” Carey was as surprised as I was.

  Maggie laughed and nodded, then wandered over to the video game systems.

  “Gonna take some pizza home?” Carey asked me. He knew me well.

  “Yeah. I didn’t take out anything to cook, so why not?”

  I ordered an extra large cheese and a large pepperoni hoping that would be enough for everyone. I had leftover salad in the fridge too.

  Carey rang us up, being very professional. “$21.96, Mom.”

  I handed him my debit card and smiled at him proudly as he swiped it.

  I leaned in. “I’m really proud of you, kiddo.”

  Brian would have said the same thing to him.

  Carey shot me a quick smile and a wink and turned around to put in our order. A wink! I didn’t even think he knew how to!

  That was always a joke with Brian and I. Brian couldn’t wink. He would try, but it often ended with him looking constipated. He just couldn’t do it effortlessly, smoothly. Me on the other hand... smooth as silk. Sam inherited Brian’s inability to wink, and Jimmy and the girls just didn’t have the swag to pull it off yet, so they never really tried.

  “Oh, Carey, that was good,” Maggie told him. She had wandered back over to us in time to catch his sly wink at me. “Much better than Daddy used to do.”

  Carey laughed and gave her another wink.

  “I think he’s practicing for someone special,” I whispered to Maggie. “Someone named Lessa.”

  Maggie understood subtlety much better than her sister, and she just nodded and attempted her own wink at her older brother. He smiled at her, and I just watched.

  I was glad that the kids all got along for the most part. I’ve never had the patience to deal with petty sibling squabbles—that was more Brian’s thing. I had a tendency—on the few occasions the kids did get into it—to wade in, break them up, and yell at both parties. It usually worked as none of the kids liked being in trouble with Mom, but it always gave me a headache and left me feeling guilty. I was a pushover when it came to the kids.

  “Carey?” Maggie whispered loudly. “Did you ask her out yet?”

  I took a subtle step closer. I wanted to hear the answer too.

  “I did,” Carey told Maggie, leaning down so he was closer to her. “We are going to go out tomorrow night, if Mom is cool with that.”

  He looked over at me with that last bit. I nodded. Of course I was cool with it! Lessa was a great girl.

  His first date! Oh... maybe he needs a new outfit.

  I played it safe out loud. “It’s cool. We can talk later about curfew and stuff.”

  Should I take him to get his hair cut?

  “Mom, pizza’s ready.” Carey had two large boxes and was holding them out to me.

  “Oops. Sorry. Daydreaming!” I took them and told him we would see him at home later.

  “Bye.” Maggie waved to Carey and ran ahead to open the door for me.

  * * *

  “Mom, when can I start dating?” Maggie asked as we made our way to the car.

  “Well, I think it depends on where you’re going?” I told her, balancing the pizza on one hand to get my keys out of my pocket. “If you want to see a movie with a group of friends, maybe 12 or 13. If you want to go out with a boy that drives, maybe 16 or so.”

  “That sounds fair. Do you think Sam and Karie are having sex?”

  What? I almost choked. “Umm... why would you ask that?”

  “Isn’t that what older people do? You and Daddy used to have sex all the time.”

  I struggled not to laugh. Brian and I were very open with the kids, and though we didn’t discuss our sex life with them, we also didn’t hide our feelings for one another. We held hands and kissed in public, and we had been caught by one of the kids on more than one occasion.

  “Well, Daddy and I were married, and we were older than Sam and Karie.” I tried to explain.

  “So... you have to be married and older to have sex?” Maggie asked, climbing into the back seat.

  “No, no. I didn’t say that.” I took a deep breath. “Daddy and I loved each other very much, and one way to show that is by having sex. It made us feel close, and it made us happy. But being in love only makes sex better.”

  I wasn’t sure if I should continue.

  “But it’s very important to know that you have to be careful. Sex can have consequences. Do you know what that means?” I asked her and peeked at her in the rearview mirror.

  She nodded, so I continued, “You could get pregnant. Or you could get very sick, if you aren’t careful.”

  She appeared to be following what I was saying.

  “I don’t know if Sam and Karie are doing that, but I think that is private,” I said. “And we shouldn’t ask him about it, okay?”

  She nodded and busied herself with looking in her Barnes & Noble bag. I made a mental note to ask Sam about that later.

  * * *

  Carey got home about 45 minutes after we did. He had decided to eat at work, so he just sat down with Sam and I at the table. I felt generous, so I let Jimmy and the girls take their pizza into the family room and said they could watch Spongebob. I heard the three of them yucking it up.

  “So where are you going tomorrow night?” I asked Carey, well aware that he had just gotten his first paycheck.

  “I was thinking of keeping it simple - dinner and a movie.” He looked at me for
confirmation that his plan was a good one.

  “Sounds good.” I nodded at him. “Where you going to eat?”

  “I don’t know... Olive Garden maybe—some place like that.”

  “Don’t take her to an Italian restaurant, dork. Her parents are great cooks. Go somewhere else,” Sam suggested.

  “Oh, I didn’t think of that.” Carey looked confused.

  “Duh,” Sam pushed.

  “Why don’t you just go to The Cheesecake Factory, and then the theater is right next to it,” I said as I kicked Sam under the table.

  “Ow! Mom, really!” Sam leaned down to rub his shin.

  Carey knew what I had done and smirked. “That sounds like a good idea.”

  “I want you home by midnight,” I told him. “Understand?”

  He nodded.

  “Now, she is your boss’s daughter, and Mr. and Mrs. Carideo are friends, so you be respectful. Manners,” I told him.

  “I know, Mom.” He rolled his eyes at me. That just annoyed me.

  “Carey, I mean it.” I said this firmly, and both boys sat up and stopped screwing around.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Carey said, and I could hear the apology in his voice. “I really like her, Mom. I understand what you’re saying, and I’ll be respectful. I promise.”

  Carey was a good kid, but he was still a teenage boy.

  I nodded. “Good. Alright. Can you give Sam and I a minute? I want to talk to him.”

  He said sure and punched Sam on the way out, telling him he was in trouble.

  * * *

  After Carey left, I turned to my oldest. “Look, I’m not trying to be nosy, and I don’t expect any details, but Maggie brought up something today that I hadn’t really thought of.”

  “Okay.” Sam looked worried.

  “If you and Karie are sleeping together...” I paused to let it soak in. “I expect you to be responsible. I don’t subscribe to the idea that birth control is only on the woman just because she’s the one that could get pregnant, and I hope you don’t see things that way.”